Memiors of a Cleaning Lady III: Special Operative Frogs

Yes, Special Operative frogs exist. They’re part of the elite Land, Earth, Air & Pond (LEAP) division, and they work closely with the FAJs (Froggy Airborne Jumpers).

One such LEAPer–I’ll call him Kermit–had taken the territory behind the stalls in the ladies’ bathroom at one of the properties I clean on Fridays. (Same frog that attacked me twice last time…) Kermit had not only dug in fast, but he laid bunch of Plasma Odor & Ooze Package land mines that dribbled down the stall doors. POOP mines are easy to spot but difficult to remove without the correct equipment.

Since I’m POOP mine removal qualified, Weston Commercial Cleaning sent me in to clean it up.

Kermit maintained his position behind the stall door as I began disabling and eliminating the POOP mines, but LEAPers don’t give up without a fight. He took flight and landed in my cleaning supply bucket–blocking my access to the necessary POOP removal equipment.

My only weapon was the bottle of disinfectant that I was holding before Kermit took control of my ammunition supply. Even though disinfectant is a surefire way to force a frog out of hiding, the use of such chemical weapons violates the Geneva Convention’s rules regarding Frog/Human warfare. Aside from the fact that I’m a nice girl and don’t want to hurt any frogs, I also knew that utilizing my disinfectant would cater to Kermit’s strengths by causing him to go airborne, which would expose my main weakness–screaming like a girl. (After all, I am a girl…)

That gave me an idea. I decided to turn the tables on Kermit by taking advantage of his main weakness–his amphibious nature. If I took could place my cleaning supply bucket in direct sunlight while I cleaned the lawn chairs on the pool deck, the sun would heat the bucket and send Kermit searching for more shady territory. Of course, moving the bucket would involve the risk of Kermit going airborne–a risk I was willing to take since this particular LEAPer had already shown a tendency to stay in hiding.

I accomplished my bucket-moving mission, and once I finished cleaning the lawn chairs, Kermit had indeed vacated my cleaning supply bucket.

Unfortunately, new intelligence showed that Kermit had returned to the ladies’ bathroom and resumed laying POOP mines. That’s when I called in Weston Commercial Cleaning’s FEST (Frog Extraction Strike Team)–my husband, who relocated Kermit to the neighboring golf course.


About M. B. Weston

M. B. Weston is an award-winning fantasy, pulp, young adult, steampunk, and paranormal author. Her attention to procedure and detail gives her works an authentic gritty, military feel that takes an adventure tale to the level of a true page-turner. Weston’s writing attracts both fantasy and non-fantasy readers, and her audience ranges from upper-elementary students to adults. A gifted orator, Weston has been invited as a guest speaker to numerous writing and science fiction/fantasy panels at conventions across the US, including DragonCon, BabelCon, NecronomiCon, and Alabama Phoenix Festival. She has served on panels with such authors as Sherrilyn Kenyon, J. F. Lewis, Todd McCaffrey, and Jonathan Maberry. Weston has spoken to thousands of students and adults about the craft of writing and has been invited as the keynote speaker at youth camps and at several schools throughout the US.
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